sample ceremony 6

Of a Feather Ceremony

4:00-4:30 | Arrival

• Please arrive by 4:00.
• The wedding party will mingle with guests as they arrive.
• Dustin and Noah will help people find seats (immediate family has reserved seats; everyone else is first come, first served). The guests will sit at picnic tables and face away from the lake.
• Loren and Eric are directing traffic in the parking lot.
• Marie will pass out drinks as people arrive. Brittany, Kristin, and Gail will hand out programs.
• Here’s what the Wedding Party will be holding (and responsible for bringing to the ceremony):
• Andy = Binder, microphone, and pen [speaker, iPod, cord, extra batteries (iPod will be taken back to Sunshine Mountain Lodge by Nick S.)]
• Brent = Basket with quilt
• Jamie = Jif (if he insists on coming up) and watering can
• Camella = Notes for speech
• Chong-Hao = Ring pillow
• Mike = Planting container and cloth napkin
• John = Hoss
• Brian = Sapling
• Caroline = Notes for speech

4:30-4:32 (2 minutes) | Procession

• [When it’s time to start, Andy will ask Camella to press play on the iPod to play “Arms Around Me” by Jens Lekman and the wedding party will walk toward the front and assume their spots.]

• [If we are facing the audience, Sara will be on the left, Matt on the right.]
• [Facing the audience, Brent stands directly to Sara’s left, then Jamie, then Camella, and Chong-Hao on the end.]
• [Mike stands directly to Matt’s right, then John, then Brian, and Caroline on the end.]

4:32-4:36 (4 minutes) | Andy’s Welcome and Guest Appreciation

Andy:

• Welcome and thank you for joining us as we celebrate Matt and Sara’s commitment to one another.
• As French writer Marcel Proust said, “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
• You are the people who make the souls of Sara and Matt blossom. We want to acknowledge and thank all of you for your support and participation today.
• We have family members from both sides: Indiana, Michigan, Florida, Connecticut and California.
• We have Matt’s friends: college, camp, KIPP, childhood and Denver.
• Sara’s friends: college, Teach For America, KIPP, and Denison Montessori.
• These friends, a famous writer once wrote, represent “a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
• Each of you has been invited to participate in this commitment ceremony because you have, in some way, brought about a new world in Sara or Matt.

Sara:

• [Andy holds up microphone for Sara to speak]
• We would especially like to thank our families who have nurtured our independence …

Matt:

• [Andy holds up microphone for Matt to speak]
• …and have put up with our quirkiness.
• [Sara and Matt walk into the audiences to hug their families]

Matt:

• [Andy holds up microphone for Matt to speak]
• And we would also like to thank each other’s family for welcoming us so kindly…

Sara:

• [Andy holds up microphone for Sara to speak]
• …and for putting up with our quirkiness.
• [Sara and Matt walk into the audience to hug the other’s family]

Matt:

• As we gather here to solidify our commitment to each other, we would also like to celebrate the fact that California just joined the ranks of Massachusetts by finally starting to extend the rights and privileges of marriage to everyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

Sara:

• It moves us one step closer to fulfilling our nation’s promise to provide liberty and justice for all.

4:36-4:38 (2 minutes) | Andy’s Talk

4:38-4:40 (2 minutes) | Laura’s Talk

Andy:

• Introduce Laura: Now Laura Jones, a close friend of Matt and Sara, will speak.
• [Laura will stand out in front to the side a little bit.]
• [Andy will hand the microphone to the speaker.]

4:40-4:42 (2 minutes) | Bradfords’ Talk

Andy:

• Thank Laura
• Introduce Matt’s parents: Now Katy and Mark Bradford, Matt’s parents, will speak.
• [The Bradfords will stand out in front to the side a little bit.]
• [Andy will hand the microphone to the speaker.]

4:42-4:44 (2 minutes) | Caroline’s Talk

Andy:

• Thank the Bradfords
• Introduce Caroline: Now Caroline Diggins, a close friend of Matt, will speak.
• [The Caroline will stand out in front to the side a little bit.]
• [Andy will hand the microphone to the speaker.]

4:44-4:46 (2 minutes) | Camella’s Talk

Andy:

• Thank Caroline
• Introduce Camella: Now Camella Clements, a close friend of Sara and also a friend of Matt, will speak.
• [Camella will stand out in front to the side a little bit.]
• [Andy will hand the microphone to the speaker.]

4:46-4:50 (4 minutes) | Tree Planting

Andy:

• Thank Camella
• Now Matt and Sara are going to plant a Live Oak sapling from the backyard of Sara’s family to symbolically represent the growth of their love.
• In early America, live oaks were widely used to build planks in ships because of their remarkable resilience. The live oak of the USS Constitution repelled the shot of enemy gunfire so effectively that one of the sailors was heard to shout, "Huzzah! Her sides are made of iron!" The ship was given the nickname, Old Ironsides.
• Like the planks on ships, marriage, too, must be resilient. It must weather the challenges of daily life and the passage of time.
• And just like the tree that they are planting, marriage requires constant nurturing and nourishment. As they provide the sun, soil, and water for this tree, they will provide the encouragement, trust, and love needed on a daily basis to consciously nurture and nourish their connection to each other.
• [Sara will hand her bouquet to Brent to hold. Jamie will bring forth the watering can, hand it to Sara, and return to her spot; Brian will hand the sapling to Matt and return to his spot; Mike will hand the pot with soil to Sara and she will hold it while Matt plants the seedling; Mike will hand the napkin to Matt to wipe off his hands; Sara will water the seedling and set the watering can down behind her.]

4:50-4:57 (7 minutes) | Exchange of Vows

Andy:

• In addition to their commitment to honor this tree which represents their love, Sara and Matt will now share their commitments to each other.
• [Andy will hand the microphone and the binder to Sara to speak]

Sara:

• Matt, I love you because you make me laugh out loud on a daily basis, like when you come up with alternate names for our dog, Hoss, such as Hoss-tage, Hoss of Pain, or Hoss-car Myer Weiner.
• I love you because you challenge me to be a better person, like when you made me promise to tell the Penske truck people that we scraped the moving van.
• I love you because we create adventures together, like Halloween scavenger hunts or road trips out West.
• I love you because you care so much for other people that you inspire all of us to be more caring. You do things like put toothpaste on my toothbrush and leave it out for me, or come home on the worst day of winter with slippers and a Chia pet herb garden.
• I love you because I smile every time I wake up to you and when I come home to you. We play together, brainstorm together, create together, read together. Your hand always feels comfortable in mine.
• Matt, because I love you, I promise to treat you the way you want to be treated and with the respect you deserve. I promise to build trust with my words and actions. I will be your cheerleader, your nurse, your editor, your therapist, your teacher, your student, and your partner in adventure. I will deeply appreciate all of your positive qualities and not let the passage of time dull that appreciation. When life challenges us, I promise to focus on the resiliency of our love. And if I stumble and fail to live up to my promises, I will look you in the eyes, hold your hands, and apologize with sincerity. I will be my best for you.
• [Sara will hand the microphone and the binder to Matt to speak.]

Matt:

• Sara, I love you because you are always working to make yourself and the world better; sending birthday cards to friends and reading self-help books.
• I love you because you never settle for one opinion; you ask friends family, and consult articles and books.
• I love you because you stand-up for what you believe in; like when you spoke-up to your assistant principal about what was working, what was not and the ways that you could work to change it.
• I love you because you create documents, documents, documents to better your life and the lives of others; like when we copied over 90,000 documents from your old computer.
• I love you because you make up songs about our dog, your butt and my smells, and they sound good.
• Sara, because I love you, I promise to treat you the way you want to be treated and with the respect you deserve. I promise to build trust with my words and actions. I will be your cheerleader, your nurse, your editor, your therapist, your teacher, your student, and your partner in adventure. I will deeply appreciate all of your positive qualities and not let the passage of time dull that appreciation. When life challenges us, I promise to focus on the resiliency of our love. And if I stumble and fail to live up to my promises, I will look you in the eyes, hold your hands, and apologize with sincerity. I will be my best for you.
• [Matt will hand the microphone and the binder to Andy to speak]

Andy:

• In Swahili, the word “ubuntu” means, “My humanity is bound up with yours.” From their vows to each other, it is very clear that Sara and Matt’s humanities are bound up with each other. But they both recognize that their humanity is also bound up with that of the world. As the author of The Little Prince says, "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
• Now they will make vows to the world.
• [Andy will hand the microphone and the binder to Matt to hold]

Matt:

• We will develop in ourselves and inspire in others environmental consciousness…

Sara:

• …honest and nurturing interpersonal connections…

Matt:

• …and an active commitment to make the world more just for all.

4:57-4:59 (2 minutes) | Exchange of Rings

Andy:

• Now Matt and Sara will exchange rings to embody the commitments they have made to each other and the world.
• Just as circles contain no end and no beginning, these rings are linked to the past and the future. They are connected to the headpiece that Matt’s grandmother wore during her wedding 54 years ago, and they are made from the recycled metal of old jewelry from friends and family. They are worn on the third finger because of an ancient Greek belief that a vein from that finger goes directly to the heart.

Matt:

• [Chong-Hao walks to the front and Matt and Sara remove each other’s rings.]
• [Andy holds the microphone in front of Matt; Sara puts Matt’s ring on his finger]
• I will wear this ring as a celebration of our commitments to each other and the world.

Sara:

• [Andy holds the microphone in front of Sara; Matt puts Sara’s ring on her finger]
• I will wear this ring as a celebration of our commitments to each other and the world.

4:59-5:03 (4 minutes) | Quilt Wrapping and Kiss

Andy:

• In the Jewish tradition, marriages take place under a huppah, which can be constructed from the fabric of friends and family. In some Native American traditions, couples are wrapped in a blanket to signify their coming together and their new life together.
• [Brent and Mike will take the quilt out of the basket and hold it up for everyone to see.]
• In this symbolic gesture signifying unification, Matt and Sara will be wrapped in a quilt made from fabric from all of you, their family and friends.
• [Brent and Mike will wrap Sara and Matt in the quilt.]
• This quilt signifies the warmth and support of family and friends that are needed to sustain a healthy relationship.
• It signifies the bond between Matt and Sara and the closeness that will continue to develop day after day.
• It signifies the comfort and beauty they bring to each other and will continue to bring to each other.
• Together within this blanket, they will sign their marriage into being.
• [Andy will set up the contract to be signed on the binder. He will hand a pen to Sara, Sara will sign, she will hand the pen to Matt to sign.]
• [Mike and Brent will remove the quilt.]
• Now they will embrace and kiss to celebrate that they are now officially united.
• [Camella will play “Concrete and Clay” by Unit 2 + 4 on the iPod.]

5:03 | Logistics

Andy:

• Thank you so much for joining us today.
• Please stay seated where you are so we can take a few photos of the entire group.
• Those of you who have been asked by Katy to stay for pictures, please gather in your groups over in this area after the whole-group photo.
• If you would like to recycle your programs, there’s a box over there.
• After we take the photos, the celebration will continue six miles down the road at Sunshine Mountain Lodge.
• See you there!